What does the word ‘ family ‘ mean to you?
I hadn’t thought of how the word ‘family’ could be upsetting to someone until a recent conversation.
I had an experience with a school friend when I was discussing ‘family photography’ at a recent school event. She pulled me aside to let me know that she was amidst a divorce, and that the word ‘family’ may be upsetting to her kids at this time.
This got me thinking about the word family, what it means historically, and how I personally think of the meaning of the word family, and in particular how it relates to family photography.
So, like any good writer (well…maybe good isn’t the right word in this case…) but like any writer should, I sat down and did some research about the subject I wanted to write about, which is the meaning of the word, family.
A few different definitions came up before I found the one that most resonated with my own head and heart.
Of course, there is the strict dictionary definition of families as “a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit”, or “all the descendants of a common ancestor”. But, even these two definitions were not ones I fully identified with.
The Britannica definition is “a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respecitve social positions, usually those of spouses, parents, children, and siblings.”
This definition is getting a bit closer to what I feel the word the word family means, but…it’s still not quite where I think it should be.
Fun Photo Booth Filmstrip for my Birthday in 2022 of me and my girls, which I used for our holiday card.
Then I stumbled upon a list of common family types: nuclear families, single-parent families, extended families, childless families, stepfamilies, and grandparent families (from Types of Family Structures in www.tryingtogether.com). But, admittedly this list made me think about WHY the word family needs all of these qualifiers? Isn’t a family a family?
And, I finally came to two definitions of family that resonated more with me. In Forbes 2019, they said “a real family isn’t defined by blood. It’s defined by a mutual respect and genuine love for each other.” This lead me to another article on HealthyChildren.org which discussed that a family is a unit of individuals who love and care for each other, providing a sense of belonging and security with open communication…and who makes each person within that family feel important, valued, respected and esteemed.
These two definitions of family are ones I really identify with, and what I think is most important when considering who to include when you take your ‘family photos’ with a professional photographer.
I think back to my childhood, and my parents were divorced since I was 8 years old. I don’t think I took what I would think of as “professoinal family photos” with either of my parents and my sister after the divorce. And, why did this happen? Since our definition of family had changed and altered, did they feel that we were all not a group who could take family portraits together?
Thinking back now, I’m saddened that this may have happened…and I want to ensure that how my family changes and evolves over time does not make us feel like we can’t have family photos taken, and I would never want someone to feel that their ‘family’ is not the right one for family photos either.
I hope that the use of the word family does not deter anyone….and I know that scheduling family photos can be quite hard after a change in ones own family, weather via marriage, divorce, birth, adoption, or death of a loved one. I’m happy to report that I’ve been blessed to work with so many families over the years of all different structures and sizes, and I can’t wait to meet more new family clients.
I’m going to make this the year to not worry about all the things, including if my family fits the traditional definition of family for family photos. And, I’m here to say that I do understand and know that this can be hard, emotional, and potentially triggering….because life is not easy. So, think about those that you genuinely love, protect, respect, and hold with high esteem that you would want to celebrate and document with your next photography session.